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Hello Friends,
We started 2020 with such high aspirations! The world was entering a whole new decade and we were going to do great things. Then came March. It’s hard to fathom how quickly things changed from “Of course they won’t cancel the Bat Mitzvah” to “School has been closed, pick up your things in the fall.”As I wrote about, everyone has their own issues but we should all be proud of making it through.
For this year of corona-craziness, I wanted to highlight some of the positive things in life.
I’ve split this missive into two parts. The first part is a general family update. Next, for those of you still with me, I’ll take you through some of the blog posts I’ve written this year and a tour of my digital library. Let’s get started.
FAMILY PICTURES
Looking back at previous years, we’d done so much travel and seen so much of the world. So this year we decided to take a break and spend it with Fortnite characters and Harry Potter wizards.
PRE-COVID
In January and February, we were all ready to be tired and lazy during Martin Luther King Day and Presidents’ Week, but we managed to drag our butts out of the house. We went skiing at Mount Snow with my parents and had a lovely trip to the Pocanos with Abigail’s sister Rachel and her family. Boy, are we glad we got that done before lockdown!
Our Skiing Trip for MLK Weekend
With the Goulds During Presidents Day
180 DAYS AT THE BEACH
On March 14th (Pi day), Abigail was ready to make a celebratory pie, when I announced that we were immediately leaving to head to my parents’ house to avoid the craziness of New York City. We figured we’d be out with them at the beach for a couple of weeks—maybe a month. We came back six months later.
Blake and My Dad on the Beach
Our First Outing (2 Months After Arriving)
Ari at the Beach
INSTEAD OF HAVING A BIG PARTY IN TENNESSEE…
This was a year when rituals were squashed by the pandemic. Before COVID moved into high gear,I wrote about how everything fun is bad for you. We normally visit my in-laws in Tennessee over the summer, going to Dollywood and searching for the best BBQ in the country. Not only couldn’t we visit this year, but we also missed a milestone birthday for my mother-in-law. Instead, we made her a video. I wrote about how even though it wasn’t perfect,we were able to commemorate this key event.
What We Did for Jeanne’s Birthday
GOLFING
There were a few bright spots to our quarantine. Being quarantined in Long Island with few activities, my very gracious parents introduced the boys to the sport of lawyers and bankers. My boys learned to play golf. My mother would perk up in the middle of the day and say, “Blake, do you want to play nine holes of golf?” I’ve never seen the boy move so fast.
Golfing with Nana and Popi
Blake Golfing
Ari Golfing
THE BOYS
Blake and Ari have been very resilient this year, dealing with social distancing, homeschooling, and the general turbulence of the world. They’ve been working on chores like cooking and making lunch. They even got better at praying, going to virtual synagogue with my father.
First Day of School. The signs say that
Blake Wants to be an Inventor or a Gamer.
Ari Wants to “Do Something with Technology.”
First Days of School Through the Years (2015-2020)
Ari and Blake at Virtual Temple
BLAKE
Blake has started off 6th grade in a new school! I remember how sixth grade for me was the transition between, “Just do your best” and “You get no credit if your answers aren’t in complete sentences.” It’s a big transition but Blake is rising to the challenge! Early in the year,Blake explained how friendships work in Fortnite, which became quite useful during lockdown. Like any good 11-year-old, he’s obsessed with watching movies and quoting lines. Here isBlake giving Simone’s speech in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. He even found somehilarious trivia about Tom Wilson, the actor who plays Biffin Back to the Future. His best line of the year might be a paraphrase of the Simpsons, “I hate this coronavirus. Stupid Flanders!”
Homemade School Picture
Power Washing!
Learning What’s Inside Computers
ARI
Ari’s in 3rd grade now. At least we think he is. He’s hard to find, burrowed away reading a book or playing math games on his iPad. Ari is practicing being cute, responsible, and hard-working. He’s a bit bored being inside all the time but that’s what all of his Harry Potter and Percy Jackson books are for! He wants you to know that while he’s very picky with food, he makes up for it by giving great hugs.
Homemade School Picture
Contemplating Life
Ari at the Queens Museum (Pre-COVID)
ABIGAIL AND ME
Abigail and I have had a great year together. We’ve been together almost 17 years and each year keeps getting better.
This year wasn’t easy for anyone, but Abigail had quite a bit extra to conquer. She has been a super mom, wife, account executive, barber, hair colorist, laundress, and garage organizer this year. She also spent 6 months at my parents’ house, where she cooked elaborate meals for the 6 of us 180 days in a row. And her beloved Flywheel declared bankruptcy, so she’s been relegated to riding a Peloton. She is Vice President at our temple, Habonim, and contributes substantial time and energy to help make it a great place to be.
As for me, I’ve just started a new role at Fiserv as the VP of Digital Integration. It’s a great role on a wonderful team. I’m working on some awesome stuff but can’t talk about it just yet. Before I got this job, I did a lot of consulting and advising. I’ve helpedNorcon Communicationsbuilt up its web presence and marketing. I’ve done some bloggingfor myselfand forMidas Exchange. I advisedBondle, a start-up that’s changing the game of managing business-critical conversations and documents. Oh, and I spent a lot of time growing my beard. In normal years I have a winter beard, but I felt that this year called for something extra special.
What’s We Looked Like Before Lockdown
(With Regular Winter Beard)
Me During Pandemic
So that’s the end of Part 1—the picture heavy bit. For those of you who want to nerd out, get ready for the next bit where I talk about:
- My Writing and Speeches for the Year
- Some Inspiring and Funny Things
- COVID Humor and Quotes for the Year
- My Brand New Digital Library of Useful Things
As we say in Judaism L’Chaim (To Life)! And I look forward to seeing you in real life in 2021!
Rob
2020 THOUGHTS SECTION
Hello again!
Thanks for staying with me on this New Year’s Day. My friend Marc noticed that this part of the holiday letter is a lot like thevanity cardsthatChuck Lorreputs at the end of his shows like Young Sheldon. It’s a shout out to anyone who wants to stick around and go one level deeper. So sit back with a nice hot cocoa with someOle Smokey Moonshineand enjoy.
A HOLIDAY GIFT FOR YOU
I wanted to give you all a meaningful holiday gift. This is difficult during normal times, and even more difficult during the pandemic.
I’ve always admired people who can give holiday gifts that are truly unique. Designers do it best. Earlier this year, I wrote aboutThomas Heatherwick’s Christmas gifts. From 1994 to 2010, Heatherwick,creator of New York’s Vessel, created original, unique, and surprising Christmas cards. There was even amuseum exhibit of these cards.
Another wonderful gift was on the TV show Sports Night, when Aaron Sorkinput his Christmas gift in the show. During the Christmas episode of 1998, Sorkin had the fictional sportscasters thank the real backstage cast as part of the episode. So when the cast thanks Maureen Gates and Joseph Rivetto,these are real people.
But alas, I’m not a designer or a TV creator. I’m a writer. So this note is my holiday gift to you.
MY WRITING
I had more time than normal this year to do some writing. This letter is my “best of” for the year, but there’s a lot more at my websiteschlaff.com. The website also has a new introduction and a list of my favorite articles. You cansubscribeto my blog to stay updated during the year.
So why do I blog? I write for me and I write for you.
I write for me. As I wrote inWhy I Write, it’s a way of documenting my life and thoughts. It helps me clarify what I think and who I want to be. It also shows me how I change over time and how I stay the same. Hopefully, it’s a story about becoming a better thinker and a better person.
I also write for all of you. I like to blog to share my thoughts with you and stay in touch. As I said in my Toastmasters Speech,Why I Blog, I used to tell these long rambling stories, which would bore my friends. Now that I can tweak them into pithy blog posts, my friends send me reviews like “Your blog is awesome. It’s like what Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Goop’ but much better,” and “Thank you for your postSix Amazonian Secrets You Can Use! I’ve shared it with everyone at work.”
MY BLOG(S)
Here are some of my favorite pieces this year about Amazon and working:
- Six Amazonian Secrets You Can Use (From an Amazon Insider). When I was at Amazon, I learned some awesome things. Here’s a list of my favorite Amazon secrets available to you.
- When Millions of Eyes at Amazon Were Wrong. Here’s the story of how I fixed mistakes in Amazon’s most important document: Amazon’s 14 Leadership Principles.
- My Ideal Retirement Plan. This was one of my most popular pieces this year. I was surprised that my ideal retirement plan wasn’t about retiring early or even retiring at all.
My favorite blog posts about discovery and art:
- The Joy of the Hunt. I love hunting for interesting things, from hidden castles toYale’s secret societies.
- Taking the Red Pill of Art. Thinking like an artist is hard. Here’s my journey (so far) as an artist.
- The Art of the Book in the Digital Age.I picked up a book at the New York Public Library with a big purple stamp that read, “The Author of This Book Committed Suicide.” This led to quite an interesting adventure.
I wrote about digital media this year, writing the entireMidas Exchange Blog. My favorite wasThe Best Social Media Isn’t Just About Social Platforms.
MY SPEECHES
I’ve always wanted to get better at public speaking. This year I had my chance! I joinedToastmastersand have been the VP of education forDE SquaredToastmasters. As Toastmasters is an organization about making speeches, you should probably watch myrecruiting speechrather than read this section. I’ve learned the difference between reading a speech vs. connecting with an audience. It’s quite a bit of fun. We’re on Zoom these days, so shoot me an email orjoin our meetup groupif you’re interested in joining our monthly meetings. We meet on the third Monday of each month.
Here are some of my favorite speeches (with more here):
- What a Wonderful Word(video). A story of untranslatable words from around the world.
- Amelia Earharts’ 77-Year-Long Journey Around the World(video). This is the story of 2 Amelia Earharts. The one who started the journey around the world and the one who finished it.
- The Best Vacation Ever. Thank God We Survived(video). The story of our family trip to Breckenridge. Everything was planned impeccably. Then it all fell apart.
ON HAPPINESS AND MEANING
At this point in the letter, I normally talk about happiness, but last year was brutal. No matter who I talk with, I’m constantly reminded of the opening line of Anna Karenina, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
I wrote about this inMaking the Most of This Ugly Year. While sulking through this dispiriting mess of a year, I picked up Victor Frankl’sMan’s Search for Meaning. Frankl, who survived Aushwitz, believed that we can live a meaningful life in three ways: through work, love/caring for others, and courage in difficult times. It’s the third one that we often forget and overlook. In these difficult times, it’s worth taking a step back and realizing that there’s something noble in overcoming these challenges. Or as Dr. Suess said, “When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” Instead of framing this year as “This sucks” we can frame it as “This sucks, but I’ve been working hard to overcome it, and I should feel good about that.” Give it a try!
I’ve written a bit about happiness this year:
- The Key to Happiness: Focus on One Thing. These days, it’s hard to be productive. I’ve found that the best way to get things done is by relentlessly focusing on one thing at a time.
- Emotional Intelligence for Kids (and Their Parents). My kids have been learning about Emotional Intelligence in school. I’ve found it helpful and hope you will too.
- Everything Great is Bad for You. The things that make a great social event also create a good way to spread coronavirus. After the pandemic is over, it’s worth using the coronavirus prevention guidelines, and going against them, to find great events.
- Capture Better Memories Without a Camera. Here are some ways to use your brain to capture special moments instead of using your phone.
I also have some blog posts on friendship:
- Thank You for Being a Friend. Friendship is about being there for other people. Anyone can celebrate with you when it’s convenient. A true friend stands by you when things are tough.
- Global Pandemic and Global Friendship. These days, contacting friends down the street is as difficult as contacting friends in Asia. Early in the pandemic, I caught up with some of my friends around the world to compare notes.
- Guest Post: Blake Schlaff on Fortnite Friendships. This is Blake’s insider account of the social world inside of Fortnite. Blake and his friends give each other birthday gifts and he’s even thrown a party.
I’ve also got a lot ofhappiness and inspiration linkson my website. Here are some of my favorites:
- A few years ago, I took Yale’s Happiness Class, the most popular class ever given at the University. Here are mykey takeaways from the online class. Professor Santos also has a podcast calledThe Happiness Lab. My favorite was Season 3 which looks at happiness lessons from the ancients.
- Did you know that you could get a reply from Santa’s Workshop, North Pole, 12345? Here’s the story ofSanta’s ghostwriters from a GE plant in Schenectady NY. Audible also has afree audio-documentary of Santa’s real-life helpers. For those of you living elsewhere, you can join theUSPS’s Operation Santa.
- Some Good Newswas John Krasinski’s show from the early days of lockdown. He even had asurprise rendition of Hamiltonfor a young girl who couldn’t go.
- Jimmy Fallon ends the year with the inspiring and funny2020:The Musical.
ON HUMOR
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries is not “Eureka!” (I found it!) but “That’s funny…”— Isaac Asimov
The best humor goes beyond amusement. It can help people see the world from a new point of view and help people change the way they think. The humorist is agadflyin the best sense of the word, one who annoys the powerful but provokes positive action. Even when kings wielded absolute power, they had thelicensed fool or court jesterto provide them with the truth in a humorous way. Below I have some humorous things that make you think and some things that are just funny.
- Some of my favorite humor takes something familiar and looks at it from a different perspective. This year it’s useful to see how non-white-male comedians can use humor to convey a greater truth about the world. Some of my favorite examples are Dave Chapelle’sChip and Dave, Chris Rock’sWho Wants to Change Places?, Hannah Gadsby’sNanette, and Michael Che’sJust Civil Rights.
- When sitting at home, it was fun to see some one or two-person shows on Netflix. Nick Kroll and John Mulaney performedOh Hello, a semi-improvised Broadway show of two 70-year-old down-on-their-luck best friends. Hannah Gadsby did some great comedy/performance art inDouglas. The final joke about Louis CK is amazing. Also, there’s the quite timelyWhat The Constitution Means To Meabout women’s rights.
- The movieBorat Subsequent Moviefilmis a pointed satire on the state of America. If you think that Sasha Baron Cohen is just doing this for laughs, he’s not. Watch hisAmerican Defamation League speech.
- With all the data being thrown away these days, it’s useful to look atSpurious Correlationsand remember that just because two things are correlated,it doesn’t mean that they have anything to do with each other.
- In a lighter vein,Jay Forman can sing songs one syllable off. The notes stay in the same place but the words move. Someone performed this at my kids’ school and it was incredible.
COVID-19 HUMOR
This has been a year when I’ve found myself saying things in 2020 that wouldn’t have made any sense in 2019 (similar to this Saturday Night Live skit) like:
- “Kids, remember to walk in the middle of the street—not on the sidewalks. There are people on the sidewalks.”
- “I don’t think they’ll let you in the bank if you’re not wearing your mask.”
- “Well, I guess I don’t need pants for this conference call.”
- “Please mute yourself during the Zoom Bat Mitzvah.”
And here’s some so my favorite COVID-19 humor links for the year:
- Robyn Schall, who went to my high school, has a great summary ofher failed goals of 2020.
- The New Normal Under Quarantine. This Holderness family video is uncomfortably similar to how we were actually living. We’ve also enjoyed their parody videos about quarantine likeIf Sitcom Songs Were About QuarantineandIf Broadway Songs Were About Quarantine.
- This Girl Had a Total Meltdown When She Found Out McDonald’s was Closed.
- My friend Jay, who works at Colbert, made a home movie calledWild Discoveries Of The Secret Habitats Of Unseen Worlds: Nature Edition.
- Whatonline learning in Star Warswould be like.
- Gerry Brooks, an Elementary School Principal in the south, has somethoughts on classroom jobs during COVID.
QUOTES OF THE YEAR
- Quote of the Year: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. — The opening line to Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
- Today I worked from home, ran 10 miles, homeschooled my kids, cleaned the house, made a delicious dinner, and got my kids to bed early. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you lie. —Mommy Owl on Twitter
- Look, I fully support banning travel from Europe to prevent the spread of infectious disease. I just think it’s 528 years too late. —Rebecca Nagle, Cherokee Writer
- We don’t like to watch the Price is Right. The beginning is great when they guess the prices, play the games and spin the wheel. But we don’t like the end where Andrew Cuomo talks about the Coronavirus. — My Kids
- Ouch. You picked a bad year to switch jobs. Switching jobs these days is like playing musical chairs when the music stops. — My friend Jason
- Whoever did the PR in the 90s about cutting open plastic six-pack rings so they don’t choke animals did an amazing job. They should find that person and put them in charge of the wear a mask campaign. —Rachel Syme
MY LIBRARY SECTION
This year, instead of just having a blog, I alsocreated a library section on my website. I wanted a place to put all of my awesome stuff. Growing up, I always wanted to have a great library in my house. I remembered the excitement when I learned that I could buy the entire collection of The New Yorker in bound volumes and put them on a shelf. I’d imagined that I would collect great encyclopedias from the past to peruse whenever I pleased. They would live in mahogany bookcases that looked like they’d belonged to JP Morgan. Then I realized that a New York City apartment doesn’t have space for a physical library. So I did the next best thing. I created a virtual library that includes lots of the things I enjoy, like my favorite books, words, and tools.
I’ve broken the library into a number of sections. For me, the sections aren’t hard lines but themes to peruse. Rather than looking at them as Dewey Decimal numbers, think of them as different rooms and exhibitions as you move through the library.
MY FAVORITE MEDIA
- My Magazine Writing.Looking through my files, I found the magazine articles I published in the late 1990s. Back before blogging, we used to have these things called magazines. They were like blogs but were heavier to carry around. I was lucky enough to be a contributing editor at The Abercrombie and Fitch Quarterly. I captured some ofmy thoughts about writing and pictures of me with fashion models on a photo shoot. Some of my favorite articles are when:
- I visited ILM while they worked on Star Wars: Episode I
- Wrote a guide to Great American Movie Theaters
- Met the world’smost interesting calculus professor(whoplayed an amazing prank on his students).
- Books.Every good library needs books. I’ve included some of my favorites here along with my favorite excerpts. Below are some key books:
- The Story of Artis the book that got me into art and I have an excerpt on how and why.
- Tom Wolfe’sThe Right Stuff, is history, social commentary, and action all rolled into one. It just came out in audiobook, narrated by Dennis Quaid who plays Gordon Cooper in the movie.
- If you’re looking for a fascinating book on the history of epidemiology, check outThe Ghost Mapby Stephen Johnson.
- Articles.The best magazine articles can teach you something profound in just a few pages. They are wonderful intellectual candy: short, sweet, and packing a punch. Here are some of my old favorites:
- There has been a light bulb that’s been on since 1901 in a firehouse in Livermore California.The reason light bulbs burn out isn’t a technical problem but an economic one.
- I’m into odd hidden stories. Here’s the strange history of theGreek Gyro(born in Chicago) andInside the Secret World of Trader Joes.
- Thisarticle that spawned the movie Top Gunis amazing.
- Other Media.Here’s a list of videos, podcasts, and other media.
- Podcasts:With their company Pushkin, Malcolm Gladwell and best friend Jacob Weisberg have a podcast company that makes engaging podcasts from some of the best minds in the world.Here are my favorites.
- Newsletter:Nextdraftby Dave Pell is my favorite daily newsletter. It’s well written, thoughtful, and a true labor of love.
- Video: I love watching and re-watching videos byImprov Everywhere. They dedicated to bringing art and happiness into the everyday world. If you want to feel better about the world, take a look atThe Light Switchandmy other favorites.
TIPS ON LIVING
- Tips and Tricks.This is my list of useful life hacks that I’ve learned over the years filled with things to start doing, things to stop doing, and “How To” items.
- StartAsking People “What Are You Passionate About?” In New York, everyone likes to ask “What do you do for a living?” I’ve found that asking “What are you passionate about?” is better. In fact, Amazon puts this question on the internal phone directory for everyone to share.
- StopLosing Your Laptop at the Airport. Put your business card and cell phone number on your laptop to avoid losing it at the airport.Here’s how it worked for me more than once.
- How ToChoose a Better Book or Movie. This one is a tip from my friend Seth. If you’re going to watch the movie “From the People Who Brought YouMovie A” you should probably go seeMovie A.It’s going to be at least as good as the new movie.
- “Laws” Named After People.I love laws (really lessons) that are named after people. Some are are useful, others are just fun. My favorite “law” named after a person isStigler’s law of Eponymywhich states that no scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer. Wrap your mind around that one!
- Lessons from My Grandparents.My grandparents taught me so many lessons. This is my homage to them.
THINGS I LIKE
- Kid Stuff.With two young boys, I’ve found a lot of fun stuff for us. Here are some of the things that have kept my kids and me sane during the pandemic:
- My sister Ali told me aboutHow to Be the Parent You Always Wanted to Be, a wonderful book that teaches you how to build a cooperative relationship with your kids.
- Steve Spangler’s DIY Sciis a modern Mr. Wizard’s World and my favorite TV show for kids. If you ever wondered what the adult version of Mr. Wizard would be, check outFestival of the Spoken Nerd.
- Slow Mo Guysis another amazing science show highlighting super slow motion camera footage. You haven’t seen a great science show until you’ve seen theslo-mo guys smacked in the face by an Asian carp in slow motion.
- Mark Rober is the cool science guy. He’s played pranks on Jimmy Kimmel, exposed the secrets of carnival games, and even taught a physics class online during the pandemic.
- Favorite Words.I love words. I have a lists offoreign words,British/Irish Words,old words,words with an “s” sound, andhigh falulin words.
- I wrote about the different untranslatable words from around the world. It’s amazing to find a word in Japanese or Russian that totally describes something that I’ve always known to exist but didn’t have a word for.
- My favorite word these days is theIrish wordfeckin eejitwhich is a lot less obscene than you’d think.
- I like to collectweird names of real people. I wrote and spoke about weird names inAmelia Earharts’ 77-Year-Long Journey Around the World.
- STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, Math).Here’s a sampling:
- : In publishing, it’s common to put the filler textLorem Ipsumso people can focus on design, not words. However, you can also use some other fun filler texts likeBacon Ipsum,Cupcake Ipsum, andmore.
- Technology: I learned a lot fromGary Kasparov about how humans+computers are betterthan the best computers or the best people.I wrote about a version of this speech as my entire 2015 email.
- Science and Math: I wrote upA Biography of Numbersto highlight the history of various numbers.
- Cool Tools.Kevin Kellycoined the termCool Toolsbroadly to mean anything that can be useful. This includes hand tools, machines, books, software, gadgets, websites, maps, and even ideas. Here is my list of technology and non-technology tools and hacks that can make your life better.
- Nontransitive Diceare an awesome learning (and gambling) tool. Instead of acting like dice, they act more like a game of “rock paper scissors.”
- Your iPhone has auniversal sleep timer. You can set a sleep timer for anything: YouTube, Netflix, Music, etc. Just go to “Clock,” set a timer, and instead of playing a sound, click “Stop Playing.”
- Don’t use speed tests to figure out your Zoom problems. Zoom problems are linked to latency and packet loss. The websitePacket Loss Testis far more useful for this.
- Google Bookshelps me pinpoint an idea that was “somewhere in this book.” I also have some great materials on thebest ways to search from Google’s expert.
THANKS!
Thanks for making it through all of this! As I sign off from this email, I wanted to leave you with one of my cards. I wrote about thestory behind these cards, but the message stands by itself. Thanks for being my friend. You’re Awesome. Let’s Talk.
My Card
Thank you all for your friendship and support this tough year. As I look atJibberJobber(my job search CRM), I see over 100 people that helped me on this journey. Now it’s my turn. As I started thanking people, one very generous and instrumental mentor said, “It’s my pleasure, now it’s time for you to pay it forward.” So tell me what I can do to help you.
Rob
P.S. If you’d like to read more of my writing check outschlaff.com. If you want to get more articles by email you cansubscribe hereto get 1-3 emails a month. If you want tounsubscribe from this annual letter you can do it here.
